Friends With Benefit Dos And Don’ts

From our Editor:

This may have happened to you before: a female friend approaches you and asks if you’d want to spend the night, no strings attached. She might even go as far as to specify being Friends with Benefits (FWBs) – also known as Fuck Buddies (FBs).

So you accept. Why the hell not, right? What horny guy in his right mind would ever turn down free no-strings-attached sex, right?

And so there you are. Going right along. Booty calls, late-night romps, lonely Saturday nights turned into all-night sex sessions. You’re happy, she’s happy, everybody’s happy.

Then one day, while lying in bed, she turns to you and says, “I think I’m falling in love you.”

SCREEEEEECH! (That’s the sound of your Mental Brakes being applied.)

What the hell just happened to no strings attached? I thought we were just friends and were going to stay that way! WTF Buddy?

It started out as friends or acquaintances, both of you are physically attracted to one another but are emotionally unavailable. I am sure majority of you know what this means, I am talking about SF – also known as SEX FRIENDS or whatever fancy term you give it like, FF – also known as F*ck Friends.

Friends with benefits is an agreement between 2 people to have casual sex occasionally without having to pursue a serious committed relationship. The idea of having a SF, it is definitely fun with no strings attached but sometimes it is not as SIMPLE as you think it is. Check out these PROS AND CONS and a few tips before you decide. But remember it is not advisable – it is not good in the eyes of GOD!

The GOOD side

-NO SERIOUS COMMITMENT- Whether you are in your 20′s or 30′s and relationship/marriage is the LAST thing you want, this is probably the positive point for you. Without any pressure or any kind of commitment and the both of you know what exactly you are going into then using one another would be enjoyable.

BAD SIDE
-CATCH FEELINGS- When one of you develop feelings, things WILL change. When one person gets too attached and start to want more out of the FWB (Friends with Benefits) can really destroy the relationship. Worse part if the other half feels differently, he/she will definitely get hurt. Many people believe that Women are the ones who typically gets more attached than Men but if the sexual relationship goes on long enough, emotions make their debut for the Men too. Jealousy starts when one of you start dating someone else seriously too. True that, emotions are sometimes HARD to be separated from SEX but if you are in for FWB, this is what you have to handle.

*Tips*

It is always better when one of you lay down some ground rules and be honest with one another with your intentions. That’s to avoid any misunderstanding. One of the keys to a successful SF relationship is to be discreet about your relationship. Trust me, he/she won’t be too happy if they know you were bragging about it to your friends and the thing is how would you know they won’t kiss and tell? We will always tell a handful of people. Am I not right to say that?

The GOOD side

-GET DOWN TO BUSINESS- The conveniences of just calling/texting one another for sex without having to go through fancy dates, buying her drinks or impressing one another. Perfect for those who has no time for a serious romance. Plus minus the drama in a relationship because you know it is not a REAL relationship!

*Tips*

Don’t expect he/she to call all the time or introduce you to his/her friends. You have to know that all the common relationship courtesy’s don’t apply. Being friends with benefits, RESPECT plays a part too. Don’t be too insistent if he/she is not available.
The DOWN side

BAD SIDE
-FRIENDSHIP WILL NEVER BE THE SAME- You must understand that your relationship will never be the same again. Once you have seen one another naked, you have definitely crossed the physical line. Therefore the dynamic of the friendship is not the same like the others. Might even ruin the friendship if there is a huge dispute between you two.

*Tips*

Avoid being SF with a close friend.

The GOOD side

-LEVEL OF COMFORT- You can be as fun as WILD as you want without worrying how he/she thinks of you and especially in bed. Like I mentioned before, one of the good points of being SF is you don’t have to TRY to impress one another! That doesn’t mean you should be lazy in dressing up or when it comes to actions in bed.

BAD SIDE

-AWKWARDNESS IN PUBLIC- What happens when you guys are invited to the same mutual friend’s party and saw one another but not sure how to act? It definitely gets awkward. Girls starts hanging around him. I believe awkwardness + jealousy not a very good combo. This applies to Guys as well.

*Tips*

Don’t become territorial. You guys are not in a serious relationship. If you’re possessive by nature then I suggest you drop the SF idea. Always remember to draw a clear line between you two, don’t sweat the small stuff.

That is an all-to-common outcome. More often than not, Friends with Benefits ends up as One Friend Falling For the Other. Seriously. There’s been plenty written about this too. Sometimes it’s because one side already has feelings for the other and is hoping to start something. Other times, it’s ex’s who aren’t quite ready to break it off yet. It could also be two lonely friends who need some physical comfort. Whatever it is, it usually ends the same.

There are also other negative repercussions. While you’re in the FWB “relationship”, other potential dates may shy away from you if they find out you have easy access to a booty call. You can hide your FWB, of course, but that means being dishonest.

Also, some people aren’t cool with the thought of their future boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife having an FWB. They may judge you as a “insert your favorite derogatory term for a person with loose sexual morals & behaviors here”. Unfortunately, women with FWBs are judged more harshly than guys. It’s a double-standard, but that’s what happens.

Then there’s the whole losing-a-good-friend repercussion. Cuz once she says those words, and you blink like a deer in headlights, it’s over. Goodbye Friend with Benefits, goodbye Fuck Buddy, goodbye friend!

My advice to you: it’s much less messy to just watch some Internet porn.